Al Saunders. Ruthless Destroyer of Trees.

I don't know if Al Saunders will admit it, but I'm pretty sure you've got to be a fuckin' genius to play offense for the Washington Redskins.

(Click for larger image)

Apparently, the 'Skins have a 700 page playbook... for the offense:

The phrase "700-page play book" became synonymous with the Redskins' offensive struggles during last year's 5-11 season, and Saunders wanted to set the record straight -- his schemes aren't that complicated. The play book is indeed huge, thicker than any Harry Potter tome. The pages aren't numbered, but 700 is a conservative estimate. Inside the heavy black binder are tabs with labels such as "number system," "huddle procedure," and "personnel groupings."

That is pretty impressive and definitly unnecessary. It'd be like equipping a sword onto a nuclear warhead or giving a gorilla a shotgun in battle with a newborn baby. Not to mention Saunders and crew are doing a swell job of keeping that "lets cut down the Redwoods!" argument alive... those dudes are burning through some paper.

No wonder the 'Skins struggle to do big things last season. Jason Campbell has been forfeiting long nights of partying and being "country" to study the playbook. Who wants to do that? Sexy coeds don't fall for the football players that are reading playbooks. They like football players that're going out to the clubs, firing guns into the air, makin' it rain, and treating the rest of society like pieces of shit. And we love that.

But Saunders says it's not that complicated if you think about it...

"If you can count from 0 to 9," the Washington Redskins' associate head coach said, "you can be a wide receiver in our offense."

So there you go. The Redskins will be having wide receiver tryouts between now and Week 6 of the regular season.

I'd love to see how "pedestrian" a receiving unit can be...

Update: Okay, so maybe I'm a little behind on this story. I just saw it on the wire and went from there. Plus, I thought the picture would be well worth it. Word.