Maria Sharapova Looked Good, Violent

Tennis "best looking" #1 in the World player took to the hardcourt last night and did her usual work, destroying the short (5'4") but busty (those boobs would be hard pressed to fit in my mouth) Roberta Vinci in straight sets 6-0, 6-1. I watched a little bit of it last night, but to be frank, the match was pretty short because of the ass beating Maria was putting on Vinci. She was definitly "slamming some balls" at net (I don't think that could ever come out the right way) and looked very sexy doing it in a provocative red dress:

Decked out for success in an outfit adorned with 600 crystals, Sharapova was all business Tuesday night. "It's difficult to play against her," the 51st-ranked Italian said. "Strong player. Nice girl. She has a nice dress."

Ah, the red flared shift dress. Plus a cropped black jacket with sheer sleeves, pearl earrings from Tiffany & Co. and a patent leather bag for her rackets.

"Put on a nice outfit and some makeup," Sharapova said, "and you're the bomb."

Yeah, I'd say so. I put on my red dress every opportunity I get and I'm the bomb at the club. (whoot! whoot!) My dress just doesn't have 600 crystals attached to it. I mean, really... is that necessary? Do you love each crystal just as much as the other when there's 599 others just like it? And I like where they were placed, just directly above the bust. Not quite Maria's best feature but that won't stop me from gawking. Or stalking.

Someone also asked the lovely lady if she ever felt sorry for the opponent she was pounding on:

Sharapova's eyes narrowed. Her smile disappeared, she shook her head.

"No," she said, flatly.

God, she's so competitive... and a bitch. But that type of bitch you just want to lay on your bed and beat the ever loving "dead frog" out of her.

In other US Open news, "the slightly less attractive than Maria" Andy Roddick advanced 7-6 (6), 6-3, 6-3... And America cheered... and cried. Or atleast I did.