Weekend Warrior Picks: Attractiveness +1

Weekend Warrior's Picks is our weekly feature where we pick college footballs biggest games over the weekend. Usually, it gives me another reason to post pictures of half-naked women and give you a song to play while you read. It's my way of giving back to the community, while giving you insight... for once.

The evolution of More Credible is coming so quickly isn't it? Last weekend I brought in a new college football contributer in Max Seltzer. This week, Max couldn't contribute his prowess, so instead we found "slighty more attractive than yours truly (and most likely smarter)" substitute with Jenn Sterger. I mean, I guess for being a sub, she's pretty credible and stuff. So not only are we expanding, but now I have a rebuttal towards those emails that think I'm a sexist or chauvinist pig. Anyways, let's get to the games.

This weeks song of choice: Kanye West - Stronger

Tennessee Volunteers @ Florida Gators

Jenn Sterger: As much as it pains me to say this: The Gators are good. Granted their first two games have been against some powerhouse teams… like Troy and Western Kentucky. Hmmm.. Not so mucchhh. But they still look like the same Gates from last year, minus their stoic leader and former scapegoat Chris Leak. The Vols however have looked anything but impressive thus far this season, and with a defense that’s ranked 85th in the country… don’t be surprised if QB (and improvisational RB) Tim Tebow makes this match-up look like an all out embarrassment. With Andre Caldwell out on injury (sprained MCL), expect the Gators to go to tight end Cornelius Ingram and utilize Tebow in their usual makeshift running back fashion.

The only real offensive threat the Vols possess against the Gators is the combination of Erik Ainge and Arian Foster. But if Florida’s defense can quickly shut down this duo, well… it will be a long afternoon in Hogtown for the boys from Tennessee. Meyer and his squad are undefeated in the Swamp, and with a chance to repeat last year’s National Title on the line don’t expect that to start now.

More Credible: I absolutely love Tennessee week. There's nothing like having a large fanbase of once (or still is?) "relatives" decked out in creamsicle orange and singing Rocky Top until your earlobes bleed. Erik Ainge is a better quarterback than Tebow, and neither of the defenses are good... at all. The huge difference is at receiver, where Florida's unit is vastly better than the Power T's. Percy Harvin will get more touches without Caldwell in the line-up (is that ever bad?), and Louis Murphy and Cornelius Ingram will be stretching the defense. Plus, Florida will be "blueing out" the Swamp. My pick is Florida

Notre Dame Fighting Irish @ Michigan Wolverines
JS: Where’s Rudy when you need him?!?!..
You might as well call this match up, “The Biggest Losers.” (Then again, you really can’t since Charlie Weiss is still on the sideline.) A game that used to be a marquee match-up of the season, has been reduced to that of a “who-sucks-the-least?” contest. Having to choose which team to cheer for from these two is like having to choose between having Britney or K-Fed as a parent: You know your situation is hopeless, so.. you’re pretty much screwed either way. Even so, I think this game will have a few merits:

1) Notre Dame might actually score its first offensive touchdown of the season.
2) With Henne out this week with a leg (cough::: ego) injury, Wolverine fans will get a sneak peak at what’s to come with their program in freshman Ryan Mallett.

Look at the bright side… someone will be 1-2 when this is all said and done. The other, well.. you know the rest. In choosing the lesser of two evils, I’m going with the Wolverines. I’d start praying to Touchdown Jesus if I were you Irish… you’re gonna need it.

MC: Two of the NCAA's winningest programs are two of the NCAA's biggests flops this season. Lloyd Carr can't seem to graduate from his 1990's playbook, and Charlie Weis is putting "D" level talent on the field. Both of these defense's are piss poor, and are starting freshmen at quarterback. Both of these teams could go winless and they'd still get more media love than anyone else in the NCAA. Do I have to pick this game? Fuck... I'll take the Maize and Blue to finally get a "W" this season. After this weekend, can we please put this "rivalry" to sleep? Even my grandparents are beginning to think this shit is too old.

Ohio State Buckeyes @ Washington Huskies

JS: If you’re gonna have the balls to put the word THE in front of your school’s name, you better be able to back that up. And.. Oh(io), what a difference a year makes. This is not the same batch of ballers you saw go to last years National Championship game, as evident from last weeks pathetic performance against Akron. Football is played on both sides of the ball Buckeyes, and last week’s win was completely at the hands of your defense, bailing your sorry offense out of its five turnovers. Washington on the other hand has been one of the unranked dark horses this season thus far. They snapped my underdog favorite from last year Boise State’s 14-game winning streak at home last weekend, and with the student body still pumped on the adrenaline from last week’s victory, something tells me they’re going to have a helluva game day atmosphere come Saturday.

I’m sorry to say this Buckeyes, but unless your offense gets its crap together this weekend, I’m throwing a bone to my underdogs the Huskies on this one.

MC: This is really a tough one for me to decide. On one side, you have one of those teams that I make fun of routinely on the site. On the other side, you have an upcoming program with really crappy players. Ohio State putting up 20 points against Akron is a joke, and atleast I've seen Washington's Quarterback Jake Locker play and he doesn't look as awful Todd Boeckman.

Arkansas Razorbacks @ Alabama Crimson Tide
JS: My dad would probably remove me from his will if I ever rooted for a team that was coached by Nick Saban, but I explained to him.. this article was purely for professional purposes. So… he’ll let it slide.

Honestly, I love Arkansas. I love Arkansas especially when they play the Gators. But seriously. This Saturday will have a different outcome than last year’s nail biter. Let’s face it, while the Razorbacks may have a Heisman candidate in their midst, they possess little to no passing game. Alabama on the other hand, has a great defense, and if they can shut down the run (and by the run.. I mean McFadden…) they should be able to pull this game out without too much hassle.
I’m rooting for Arkansas… but being realistic. Alabama. Ugh. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

MC: Hey, good news everyone, Simeon Castille is out of jail! I don't think that's going to be enough though. The "Fire Nick Saban" rant will begin this week in Tuscaloosa as Alabama fans riot from the beatdown they receive from Darren McFadden and Felix Jones. Good luck Crimson Tide,

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PIG SOOOOOOOOOOIE!

Louisville Cardinals @ Kentucky Wildkats

JS: This Bluegrass intrastate rivalry features arguably two of the best senior quarterbacks in the nation in Brian Brohm and Andre Woodson. But who are we kidding??.. Louisville has been consistently ranked and in the national spotlight for a few years now. A win for Kentucky would not only mean bragging rights within the state lines, but also thrust the program back into the national spotlight. They haven’t beaten a nationally ranked opponent however since 2002, and haven’t beaten a top ten team since before I was even born!!...

While Kentucky may have the backs and the QB it needs to compete in Saturday’s game, their defense is a whole ‘nother story. They simply don’t have the size, the strength, or the endurance to contain that powerhouse Louisville offense.

Cardinals. All the way. And then maybe they’ll let Brohm tear down a few of those stupid billboards they put up around town with the Kentucky players faces on them… or maybe just add a few creative touches with some spray paint.

MC: There are four things in Kentucky that people love:
1. Andre Woodson
2. Brian Brohm
3. Basketball
4. Orgasms with relatives

Another tough decision. And I'm serious, dispite Louisville's dominance in this rivalry. Kentucky's defense is pretty much heads and heels better than UL's, just because they've practiced the concept of tackling. But Louisville also has Touchdown Jesus under center, so it makes up for everything. As much as I dig Brohm, Kentucky gets my pick here. Giving Wildkat fans a chance to kiss their sisters.

Boston College Eagles @ Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

JS: Georgia Tech’s schedule thus far has made them look more like contenders for the national title than Number 15. Then again they’ve played Notre Dame and Samford.. not exactly the best scale. One thing is for sure however: Georgia Tech has got a sick running game in Tashard Choice. However, choice isn’t something Tashard will have when it comes to breathing room against this Boston College defense. While Georgia Tech may have one of the top notch rushing offenses, Boston College has one of the Top Rushing Defenses. They have the ability to force turnovers—11 to be exact – just in the first two weeks of this season.

The Eagles also have returning quarterback Matt Ryan, whose experience could prove very valuable against a tough Georgia Tech defense. This game has that ACC Championship feel to it.. with two of the best teams in the conference battling it out. While the game will be a close one, the Jackets will pull away in the second half. You should never trust a QB with two first names BC, haven’t you figured that out yet??... Oh well, at least you’ve got tight unis.

MC: I'm not quite down with Boston College's jerseys like Miss Sterger, but I am down with Georgia Tech's Tashard Choice. Both defenses are wonderful, but I'll take Georgia Tech just because they'll be controlling the clock the whole game. That, and I'm pretty sure Boston College has no hot co-eds. That is a bad omen in my eyes.

Editors Note: Apparently I need to get out more. Miss Sterger is putting your favorite blogger on notice.

JS: Clearly my friend here hasn't done his research. #1 Boston does have some fine females on campus.. its usually just too damn cold for them to dress hot. #2.. Georgia tech isn't exactly known for their female population.. guys out number girls 8 to 1. Need we discuss what one may look like?...

MC: Yep, you're damn right madame. That was a semi-quick Google search.

Southern California Trojans @ Nebraska Cornhuskers

JS: You’re USC. You’re one of the Top Dogs. Your coach is a legacy. You play your fight song approximately 4,387 times a game (not that I was counting or anything). You’re unstoppable, right?... The last time The Cornhuskers were hot was when Hootie in the Blowfish had a hit. Get with the new millennium folks. They do have a few advantages against the Trojans however, one being their Quarterback Sam Keller who spent two years playing against the Trojans while at Arizona State. I didn’t say he played well against USC.. but at least he has some familiarity with Pete Carroll’s style of coaching.

While some people are calling this game one of the week’s best possible upsets, I’m sticking with the Trojans on this one. Granted, the game isn’t being played in the Rose Bowl, but I doubt even the home field advantage will be enough to stop John David Booty and his Trojans from marching to victory this weekend. Besides, if USC is going to lose it’s going to be to a no-name unranked team late in the season. That’s just how they roll.

MC: Nebraska's a bit outdated. But hey, atleast Callahan changed their offense. Gone are the days of "pound that rock" until fans developed seizures. ABC and Brent Musburger are going to slurp USC anytime they hit the airwaves, and this game will be no different. Really, I don't think Nebraska has a shot of taking down the Trojans. USC's defense is way too good up front and Pete's head will explode if they let Sam Keller torch them through the skies. The only reason this game is even hyped at all is because of the namesake that follows both of these teams. Trojans win... big. And in the mean time, I'll be on the lookout for the next "Hootie and the Blowfish" single. Those guys are still good. Seriously. Stop fucking pointing your finger and laughing at me, asshole.