THIS SHOULD WORK FINE KTHNX

The Golden State Warriors run an interesting style of basketball, atleast by NBA standards, under Coach Don Nelson. It's more of a "college style" you know? Lots of running, shooting the three like it's going out of style. And if you're going to play college style ball, you might as well have college kind of clubhouse. Get yourself a leader... a captain. So who's worthy? Hmmm, how about Stephen Jackson? Bingo:

According to a report on the Indianapolis Star's web site, Warriors coach Don Nelson named Jackson team captain for the 2007-08 season. He joined guard Baron Davis and forward Matt Barnes to form a troika of captains.

However, it seems to be an odd move to make a role model out of Jackson, who fired a gun outside an Indianapolis strip club last year. His mercurial persona also has made him an adversary of many referees and a target for many NBA critics. But Nelson admits that Jackson is a totally different person once you get to know him. "We have great confidence in him as a player and a leader, and I think you'd hear that from most people who have spent time to really get to know Jack," Nelson said to the newspaper.

You know, maybe we're giving this guy a hard time. He could be an upstanding citizen. I've got to get an interview with him. I could see that conversation now:

More Credible: Hey, what's up Stephen?

Stephen Jackson: BACK OFF WHITE BOY, I DON'T DO AUTOGRAPHS.

MC: Oh no dude, I'm just a guy just tryin' to shoot the shit with a professional athlete so I can tell my buddy's. They think that stuff is pretty cool.

SJ: YOUR FRIENDS ARE HOMOS.

MC: uhh... they're not gay, they just really respect sports and athletes. So do I. Don't you understand that fans idolize you guys?

SJ: JACK DOESN'T HAVE FANS. I'VE GOT PROBLEMS THAT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS. MY LIFE IS HARD. I WEAR A HEADBAND.

MC: Oh yeah, I was meaning to ask you that. What's up with "Jack"? Can I call you that?

SJ: IF YOU WANT TO DIE.

MC: Man, fuck this, I'm going to have a conversation with Baron Davis' beard. That thing is wicked gnarly.

I figure that would be the most likely outcome from our conversation, before Jackson threatens me with a gun and I compliment him for his good judgment. Which is what captains do, they use good judgment.

But honestly, I want my captain being a strip club visiting, ink stained, gun bearing, constantly ejected thug. It sends a message throughout the clubhouse. A message like "you got criminal record? Want to lead an professional sports organization to a championship?"

Jackson has not turned over a new leaf despite his prominent new role with the team. He reportedly came to training camp with a tattoo of "two praying hands against the backdrop of a church window ... holding a gun."

Jesus Christ was constantly kept strap, yo.

[Via Kristine from This Suit is Not Black, Epic Carnival]