FSU FOOTBALL PLAYERS TO TAKE EXTENDED VACATION

Remember that Academic Dishonesty thing FSU called themselves out on a few months ago? Well, it's going to bite them in the ass. Let's just say some big-time suspensions are in the mix for Seminole football. Like, more than missing the vaunted Music City Bowl against the Kentucky Wildcats. Getting kicked from the team and expulsions type seriousness, which can be a big bummer.

But fear not Florida State fans. Don't think of suspensions as a bad thing. It gives them the football players an opportunity to do stuff like... uhh... catch up on some sleep, light the menorah, and pay-off underpaid hookers (they work so hard for the money). Oh, and from what my source tells me, more than three-quarters of the players are on the defensive side of the ball. So you know defensive coordinator Mickey Andrews is like, stoked.

BREAKING NEWS: Mickey Andrews heard all the sweet nothings you whispered in your girls ear last night. Just look at those ears. It's like someone misplaced two satellite dish halves inside of Andrews' dome piece.