THANK GOD

Yesterday, the Falcons helped the Bucs create history with their God-awful kick return coverage. Before Sunday, the Bucs had never returned a kick return for a touchdown... ever. 32 fucking seasons. That was over 1800 attempts to take a ball endzone to endzone. Michael Moore had less attempts trying to lose his virginity. The Falcons were also bad enough to allow the Bucs to put up 37 points in a blowout. Trust me people, I'm a Bucs fan, but I know how bad the Bucs suck. They're not really that good. Despite the awesome record, and clinching the NFC South.

What's even more awesome? I could've been there to watch it had I not taken Christmas photos with my family two hours prior before the game. Please, like anyone gives a shit about Christmas cards. I could super-impose myself over a random family and have something like "Merry Christmas... stalkers" across the top and it'd do the job.

Actually, that's a brilliant idea. I can't wait for next Christmas.