YOU WILL ROOT FOR CHINA... HA HA

The 2008 Olympics are going to be stupidly exciting. China's already come up with some great ideas to make the experience sexier for the audience (firing rockets into the sky to avoid rain, creating bubble-like-stadiums), and their fans are even getting free training on how to root for the team without cursing and bad behavior. Fucking joy!:

"We want to do this because we are making contributions to the Olympics," Zhao said. "It's an honor."

"Zhongguo, Zhongguo -- ha, ha, ha. Zhongguo, Zhongguo bi sheng," the crowd shouts, simultaneously beating yellow, stick-shaped batons to the rhythm. "Jia you, jia you." Rough translation: "China, China -- ha, ha, ha. China, China must win. Let's go, let's go."

That laugh in the middle of the cheer is spooky. Not a whole lot makes the hair on the back of my neck rise more than a large fanbase of goofy looking people laughing in synch. And trust me, they must win. You know why. Because if they don't, they'll dismember the athletes (starting with the legs, and working up to the arms) and gouge the eyes out of their people (they cannot see weakness).

It's a proud country over there. Strict, but proud.

[HT: 100% Injury Rate]